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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on Mar 6, 2016 21:05:45 GMT -5
AN OLDIE BUT GOODIE !! Feb 12, 2007 at 9:51pm Post by Catdaddy on Feb 12, 2007 at 9:51pm Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day I went down town and into a shop. I was only there for about 5 minutes and when I came out there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. I said to him, "Come on man, how about giving a retired person a break"? He ignored me and continued writing the ticket. I called him a "Nazi." He glared at me and wrote another ticket for having worn tires. So I called him a doughnut eating Gestapo." He finished second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he wrote a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more I abused him the more tickets he wrote. Personally, I didn't care. I came down town on the bus. The car that he was putting the tickets on had a bumper sticker that said "Hillary in '08." I try to have a little fun each day now that I'm retired. It's important to my health.
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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on Mar 17, 2016 11:36:16 GMT -5
I luv the shareholders who have managed to hold on to humor..... despite this crazy saga !!
misterhandsome DIAMOND DIGGER Mar 15, 2016 at 4:10pm soonerlew, touchscreen and 2 more like this. Post by misterhandsome on Mar 15, 2016 at 4:10pm
As much as I want to get paid and end this saga, I pray that it nothing ever happens associated with this stock on April 1, because I do not think myself or this shareholder base could handle it?
wife "hey there is this packet in the mail"
me "NO WAY ... YES!!!! IT'S ACTUALLY HAPPENING ... wait, I've heard this before ... DON"T OPEN IT'S A TRAP ... GIVE IT TO ME ... TAKE COVER, GRAB THE KIDS AND SAVE YOURSELF ..."
wife "can you please come back in the house and pick up the mail you threw all over the lawn ... and I hope you're happy, Sally from across the street just called and said they called the bomb squad and a mental health professional I assume because you ran out of the house wearing nothing soap suds ... can you please get back in the shower, we're already late for parent teacher conferences"
hahahaha. In the words of the philosopher Jimmy Buffett "if we couldn't laugh we would all go insane!"
Hope everyone is well. MH
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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on Mar 21, 2016 16:10:38 GMT -5
WoW... This is funny and an oldie to boot !! appx 2008...... Remember the CMKX "CLUBHOUSE" BOARD ?? Hotlips Houlihan Chief Administrator Top ten reasons "The Naked Truth" was/is delayed « Thread Started on Yesterday at 9:07pm » 1. They are waiting until they sell 703 billion copies via preorder. 2. After printing a massive amount of certs for CMKX shareholders, there is now a paper shortage. 3. Braindamage edited the manuscript with crayons 4. Moran advised them to have the book published in Austria, Switzerland, or Germany 5. The Pope is upset because he was not mentioned or thanked. 6. They have not been able to locate Bin Laden, who is a CMKX shareholder. 7. The manuscript is with Urban....somewhere. 8. Mark wrote the book on post-it notes. 9. Bill Frizzell got his order and the manuscript mixed up accidentally sending the manuscript to hair club for men. 10. Kevin had to personally deliver the manuscript to the publisher. His ten speed doesn't go very fast. Now, that's funny!
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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on Mar 30, 2016 15:01:55 GMT -5
marygrace DIAMOND JEDI WARLORD Post by marygrace on 10 minutes agoDonald Trump claims to be "THE BEST NEGOTIATOR" in the world......anyone care to try contacting him? LOL LOL LOL Best wishes to you and yours, Mary Grace HUGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
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Post by mygirlwantsarock on Apr 9, 2016 13:36:36 GMT -5
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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on Apr 20, 2016 10:33:24 GMT -5
Well, I found it humorous anyway......... swather DIAMOND JEDI WARLORD 7 hours ago Soon and diamondsandgemms like this. Post by swather on 7 hours ago O/T.....April 20th is 420 day in Vancouver..
This year, the event is being held on one of the popular beaches in Vancouver where over 25,000 pot smokers are expected to attend and fill the beautiful sunshine day with that delightful smell of pot
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Post by 2018 on May 7, 2016 14:32:36 GMT -5
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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on May 7, 2016 17:43:28 GMT -5
OMG..... Someone just pointed out , to me, that 2 of the "FISH" have lipstick on..........Hysterical!! and if ya stare real close, you may be able to imagine their names !! Too d*mn funny...... Thanks for the laugh.
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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on May 10, 2016 14:31:07 GMT -5
Where & how do "These People" come up with this "STUFF" ?? "FISH HEAD SOUP" ?? Ewwwwwwwwwwwwww..<gag> .. No freakin way !! No thank Youuuuuu !! I'll pass !! Sorry looking Bunch ... Guess they should have run & hid .... Oh that's right !! Ooops....... "TOO LATE" ?? OMG..... Someone just pointed out , to me, that 2 of the "FISH" have lipstick on..........Hysterical!! and if ya stare real close, you may be able to imagine their names !! Too d*mn funny...... Thanks for the laugh. Ok.... so I just got reprimanded for not posting EXACTLY what my "tipster" told me to post.. .. lol lol...seems I left out a few little words. So here it goes............................ Someone just pointed out , to me, that 2 of the "FISH" have lipstick on..........Hysterical!! and if ya stare real close, into their EYE, you may be able to imagine their names !!Yeah, your right... that does make it funnier.... lol lol Thanks again.... for the laugh
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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on Oct 20, 2016 14:59:55 GMT -5
144r DIAMOND JEDI WARLORDA driver was stuck in a traffic jam on the highway outside Washington, DC. Nothing was moving. Suddenly, someone knocks on the window. The driver rolls down the window and asks, "What's going on?" "Terrorists have kidnapped the entire US Congress, and they're asking for a $100 million dollar ransom. Otherwise, they are going to douse them all in gasoline and set them on fire. We are going from car to car, collecting donations." "How much are other people giving?" the driver asks. "Most are giving about a gallon.”
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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on Dec 29, 2016 13:31:00 GMT -5
thanks.... pacmann DIAMOND JEDI WARLORD Post by pacmann on Dec 16, 2016 at 12:14pm
Humor of the Day!
Sign In Indiana Business Front Window
WE WOULD RATHER DO BUSINESS WITH PRESIDENT OBAMA, HILLARY CLINTON, NANCY PELOSI, HARRY REID, ALL THE ELITES OF CONGRESS, THE MASS MEDIA, AND ALL OF HOLLYWOOD THAN WITH ONE CONSERVATIVE AMERICAN!!!
This sign was prominently displayed in the window of a business in Whiting, Indiana . You are probably outraged at the thought of such an inflammatory statement. However, we are a society which holdsFreedom of Speech as perhaps our greatest liberty; and after all.... it is just a sign.
You may ask, what kind of business would dare post such a sign? Answer: Owen's Funeral Home
(Gotta love Midwest Humor!!!)
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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on Feb 19, 2017 10:20:58 GMT -5
But in an effort to be more positive while we wait, I'm trying new things...like this:
Can't touch this... C-Dub
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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on Apr 27, 2017 17:22:01 GMT -5
How to make a million in the stock market?Start with two! Millionaire A woman proudly told her friend, "I'm responsible for making my husband a millionaire." "Well what was he before he married you?" the friend asked. "A billionaire." Financial Jokes - MoneyMoney can buy a House............But not a Home Money can buy a Bed..............But not Sleep Money can buy a Clock............But not Time Money can buy you a Book.........But not Knowledge Money can buy you Medicine.......But not Health Money can buy you Sex............But not Love So you see money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to take away your pain and suffering. So send me all your money.......... And I will suffer for you.
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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on May 5, 2017 11:29:37 GMT -5
Gotta love how some, through this saga, managed to keep their sense of HUMOR !! RE: Edwards..... golden110done DIAMOND JEDI WARLORD Post by golden110done on 10 hours ago
Don't know about the plea deal, but I do know that a few months back, during a day of long meetings with council, he drank too much water and cofffee...And was offered a "pee deal" .
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Post by imSINGLEruRICH on Jul 15, 2017 11:46:23 GMT -5
A woman was nagging her husband to cut the grass, to which the husband answered, "What do I look like to you? A landscaper?!" Next time the sink was dripping, she asked him again, "Honey, can you fix the faucet?" The husband replied, "What do I look like to you? A Plumber?!" Two days later, a light bulb went out and she begged him again, "Honey, can you change the light bulb?" His reply was, "What am I? An electrician?!" A few days later, the husband comes home from work to find that the lawn is cut, the faucet is fixed, the light bulb is changed. Very surprised, he says, "Honey, what happened here?" The wife replies, "You know our new next door neighbor? He came over and fixed everything." The husband says, "Honey, how did you pay him?!" "Oh, you know," the wife says, "he told me that I could either bake him a cake or have sex with him." Somewhat relieved the husband asks, "Whew, so what kind of a cake did you bake for him?" The wife replies, "Who do you think I am? Betty Crocker?!" A lady comes home from her doctor's appointment grinning from ear to ear. Her husband asks, "Why are you so happy?" The wife says, "The doctor told me that for a forty-five year old woman, I have the breasts of a eighteen year old." "Oh yeah?" quipped her husband, "What did he say about your forty-five year old ass?" She said, "Your name never came up in the conversation."
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