OT-The Love Dress......lol

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The Love Dress

A mother stopped by unannounced at her son's house. She knocked on the
door then immediately walked in.
She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally
naked. Soft music was playing,
and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

'What are you doing?' she asked.

'I'm waiting for Mike to come home from work,' the Daughter-in-law answered.

'But you're naked!' the mother-in-law exclaimed.

'This is my love dress,' the daughter-in-law explained.

'Love dress? But you're naked!'

'Mike loves me to wear this dress,' she explained. 'It excites him to
no end. Every time he sees me in
this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on
end. He can't get enough of me.'

The mother-in-law left.

When the mother got home, she undressed, showered, put on her best
perfume, dimmed the lights, put on
a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.
Finally, her husband came home.
He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

'What are you doing?' he asked.

'This is my love dress,' she whispered, sensually.

'Needs ironing,' he said. 'What's for dinner?


HE NEVER HEARD THE SHOT........

[soonerlew]

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you have to love this one


A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get her
tomatoes to turn red. One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a
gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red
tomatoes. The woman asked the gentleman, "What do you do to get
your tomatoes so red?" The gentleman responded, "Well twice a day
I stand in front of my tomato garden naked in my trench coat and flash.
My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

Well the woman was so impressed, she decided to try doing the same
thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work. So twice a day for 2
weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the
way, how did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red. No, she
replied, but by cucumbers are enormous!